PurpleMonkey Celebrity Corner

Its our first ever edition of the PurpleMonkey Celebrity Corner...and boy oh boy do we have a lot to cover! To hold on to your shorts kiddies....its gonna be an uber crazy ride.

The first ever celeb to me mocked is.....Lindsay Blowhan...oops, I mean Lohan. Seems Lindsay has had some real serious health problems for the last year and a bit, in and out of the hospital suffering from asthma and exhaustion. Then, last week, the poor thing was sent to the hospital suffering from "Heat Exhaustion" and "Dehydration". Well, it seems that everyones favorite cracked out party skank has finally been called on her shitty and completely unreasonable behavior. In a very scathing letter, the CEO of the company thats financing her new (and probably shitty) movie called her frequent tardiness and abscences "Discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional" and that "We are well aware that your ongoing all night heavy partying is the real reason for your so-called "exhaustion", we refuse to accept bogus excuses for your behaviour" then went on to say that "You have acted like a spoiled child and in doing so, have alienated many of your co-workers and have endangered the quality of this picture" and then, as if that weren't enough, he goes on to state that her actions "have resulted in hundreds of thousands of dollars in damages" and that "If you do not honor your production committments, including your scheduled call time for tomorrow and any call times thereafter, we will hold you personally accountable". Wow....so let me get this straight, for some reason, this lucky cracked out skank has a career that enables her to make shitty movies that no one wants to see and to make shitty music that no one wants to listen to, and despite the above mentioned dodgy behaviour, people still hire her to make the aforementioned shitty movies. Please Mr. Hollywood Casting Man, please cast someone who has actual talent in your future projects. This skitty chick has probably consumed more blow than all of Columbia has in its vast Cocoa Plant fields, and drank enough alcohol to keep the folks at Grey Goose afloat for many many years, and as a result, she looks like a catchers mit.....way beyond someone who is only 20 years old, not to mention she's been passed around that town like the village bicycle. And what is up with her mother? she has to live out her failed dreams of stardom through her kid? that's f'd up people. So hopefully, this is now the 14th minute of Lindsay's 15 minutes of fame. Let's hope so people...let's hope so.

****UPDATE****
Since writing this tasty tidbit last night, word has just come that the British have some good sense. It seems they don't want to listen to her shitty music either. Her record label in the UK has just dropped her because she is too much of a demanding bitch to get off her cracked out ass and promote her shitty album. I always knew the British were a smart bunch. So this, the letter mentioned above, and the fact that probably no one will go and see her next shitty movie means that she has about 6 more months of a career left unless she can seriously get her issues in order...but look who we're talking about here. 14:56.....tick tick tick tick tick.

I'm Pretty Sure Tori Spelling Is Going To Hell

I don't know why I find this story so damn facinating, its not like Tori Spelling has done anything worth while since her days as Donna Martin, but I just can't help it. Its like Dynasty for real. For the benefit of those that aren't up on their gossip, I'll just take a few to refresh.

About a year ago, Tori married some dude who was probably too good for her in an excessively lavish wedding. This came complete with hundreds of celebrity guests, a champaigne fountain and a price tag of more than $1 000 000 (which Tori complained wasn't enough). Everything seemed fine and dandy for the Mantastic Ms. Tori for about a year....then she left L.A. for Ottawa to start work on a shitty CTV movie of the week and met her co-star Dean McDermott. Dean was married with children to Mary Jo Eustace (formerly of What's For Dinner with Ken and Mary Jo..who didn't love thier bickering?) and it seems that the "sparks" or the "chemistry" were just too darn much for them to ignore and they both ended up cheating on their respective significant others. So Tori, being the skanky cow that she is, couldn't handle the stress of ending her marriage and so she got her therapist to break the news to her husband that she was leaving him for some two-bit douche bag Canadian actor. This was the first stamp on her passport for entry into Hell.

Tori then gets her own reality show on VH1 which is "loosely" based on her life. The show depicts her mother as a blonde air head with a serious shopping problem. Apparently Candy Spelling (Tori's Mom, who incidentally was the inspiration for Alexis on Dynasty) was super pissed with Tori for ending her marriage so soon (especially after that bill came in) and for taking up with the aforementioned Canadian Douche Bag Gold-Digger Dean, and then the show pushed her over the edge. Since then, she and Tori have been in a full-on family fued. Fast forward a few months, and Tori and Dean are married on a beach with no guests and no family present...Candy Spelling is pissed and her fathers health is beginning to fail.

Tori and Dean (who happens to be the first ever graduate of the Kevin Federline School For Gold Digging Men) are spending their time up in Toronto, galavanting to various restaurants and shops and to the MuchMusic Video Awards. Mary Jo announces that she is writing a book called "Tori Spelling Stole My Husband" and later, its at the MMVA's that Tori publically makes fun of Dean's ex and the fact that she can't have children anymore. Wow...that bitch is COLD. It takes a bitchy person to write a Tell All book about someone, but it takes a Super Colossal Mega Bitch to publically make fun of the fact that she can't have children. Stamp #2 on the passport. A couple weeks later, Aaron Spellings health is getting worse, he has a stroke. Does Tori rush back home to be with her dying father? nope. She stays in Toronto and shops. Stamp #3. About a week later, Aaron Spelling sadly passes away...and Tori doesn't come home right away. Stamp #4.

A few days after her fathers death, she goes straight to the tabloids and starts slinging mud that's aimed square at her mother. She tells US Weekly that her mother was carrying on an affair behind her ailing fathers back and that she was done wrong and blah blah blah...more snotty rich girl pity me because I'm rich crap. Stamp #5. Never slander the woman who gave you life...because she can take it back just as easily as she gave it. All of these events have put Ms Spelling in line for bad Karma for about....oh...FOREVER! and it seems that Karma has kicked in. Her father made Candy Spelling the executor of his estimated $500 000 000 fortune and its now being reported by People and US Weekly that Tori is in fact getting the shaft with her share of the inheritance. She is getting $800 000. $200 000 cash and $600 000 in investments. Smart Mr. Spelling put a clause in his will stating that those who contest...get nothing. Smart smart man. So now, Tori is starting a public sympathy campaign as pics of her and her gold-digging dirt bag shopping at pawn shops and dollar stores are starting to make the rounds. Its like she expects us to feel sorry for her after she steals another womans husband, slanders her mother and her husbands ex, and ignores her father as he's dying at home. I don't know about you guys, but I can pretty much garuntee that Ms. Spelling will be on the Devils private jet as she begins her journey to hell. Please God...PLEASE let her be stupid enough to contest the will PLEASE!!!! it would be so awesome to see her get squat.

Below is a pic of Tori and her Douche Bag....Ain't Love Gross?

Some New Features AND A New Look!

That's right kiddies! This old blog has undergone a facelift to reflect all that lovely PurpleMonkey Goodness that you all love. Plus, I've added my Weekly Cheers and Jeers so you can keep up on all the people doing good things and all the people doing stupid things. And the latest addition to this blog will be a weekly (I'm pretty sure weekly) feature called The PurpleMonkey Celebrity Corner, where I will use this blog as a forum to rip on celebrities. Because really, isn't slandering celebrities annonymously what the internet is for? I sure think so. So enjoy the steaming pant-loads of that PurpleMonkey Cheekiness that you all love so much. Well...that T-Bone loves so much. I highly doubt anyone else reads this thing.

The Weekly Cheers And Jeers.....

So, I'm not too sure if I have found something to Cheer about yet or not. Most likely not. So let's get to it shall we?

First the Jeers.

Jeers to being in debt. Debt, I'm pretty sure, both sucks and blows. It seems that every month, I'm throwing my money away to the credit card companies who have taken advantage of the fact that I'm weak and like to shop. Those companies then, charge me HUGE amounts of interest thusly insuring that I will never emerge from what I like to call my "Debt Pit of Despair".

Also, Jeers to bad Customer Service. I really don't think its asking too much for someone to treat me the way they'd like to be treated if they went into a restaurant or store. It seems that the more jobs are out there, the worse my customer service gets. Maybe I'm just picky because I've worked in Customer Service for so damn long, but I really don't think its too much to ask, that the snot nosed teenage turd behind the counter at McDonalds or the local Cineplex pulls his or her head out of their ass and actually pays attention to the job they are being paid to do. When I start getting decent customer service at McDonalds, I'll quit asking the staff for my Free Smile.

Jeers to the INSANE gas prices. Gas in Alberta is now just over $1.14 per litre. Alberta is a mass producer/supplier of oil and such, and for some reason, those of us who live in this oil and gas rich province are still paying through the nose for fuel. Its a sad, sad day when it takes $30 to fill the tank of my Geo Metro. What's that Mr. Fuel Distributor? The long weekend is coming? Gas prices are going up? Bend over? Hmmm.....it all seems a little suspect to me. Maybe I could call Fox Mulder and he could investigate it. I bet the Cigarette Smoking Man is behind this conspiracy.

And finally, Jeers to Summertime TV. Could it suck any worse? I submit not. I long for the fall season. Summer TV is almost as bad as Daytime TV. Each night I come home and peruse the TV Guide hoping, dreaming for SOMETHING worth while to be on. But there never is. Sadly, I'm left to sift through shitty reality shows featuring has-been celebrities wrecking shit and talking shit, People conniving and backstabbing and all for $600 000 after taxes. The only good reality shows are on during the Fall Season. Please Jebus, bring back the O.C. and The Simpsons. Seriously. I can't take much more. Screw Flanders.

And my last bit of Jeers today goes to Justin Timberlake. Have you heard his new song? WTF is up with that? this boy can sing, and yet he chooses not to. The beat is awesome and if there were words that you could understand and not just distorted crap, this would get my vote as a decent song. He can sing just like Michael Jackson could sing while he was still black, and did just that on his last album. Yet, for some reason, Justin has decided to take on this new "edgy" persona/look for his new album. Only problem is that his "edgy" persona seems eerily similar to that of Michael Jackson....once he turned into a white woman and a germophobe. I was checking my Hotmail today and saw a banner add for Justin's new song and he's got a stupid bandana over his mouth, which made me think of Bad Surgery Face Michael. Justin, Justin, Justin, your young, UBER hot and you have more money than Jebus himself, why for the love of Jebus, would you think that was a good idea? really, if I wanted to listen to distorted vocals, I'd go out and pick up a Britney Spears album.

Now, The Cheers. First, Cheers to my employer! They put up with my lateness, and my potty mouth and to cap it all of they give me a free jacket! Yay for free jackets!

Cheers to T-Bone for helping to make the changes you now see on this fantastic looking blog! T-Bone rules and is now entitled to a movie of his choice at my expense. Cheers T-Bone! Cheers indeed.

Lastly, Cheers to Chimps! specifically Chimps that wear clothes. Nothing makes me more giddy than seeing a Chimp in a sweatshirt and hat....Except the sweatshirt wearing, gun-toting Chimp pictured at the top of my blog. Cheers to Chimps indeed.

That's all I can think of this week. Maybe next week will be a bit more scathing and not so lame. But probably not.

This is the pic of Justin....WTF?!

Worst Service Ever!

So because its hotter than balls outside today, and no one wanted to cook at my house, we went out for dinner this evening. I suggested going somewheres kinda cheap and somewhere that we had never been before. So, we hopped in the car and drove to Ricky's All Day Grill in South Edmonton Common. We get there, and we waited a good 5 minutes before someone came to seat the people ahead of us. The people ahead of us asked who their server would be and asked if it was someone specific, and if it was, to seat them in another area because they had terrible service last time they were there. I think we got the server that was shitty.

We get seated and it takes about 3 or 4 minutes for the girl to come over and take our drink order, then it takes about 10 minutes for her to come back with the drinks. She FINALLY brings them, and takes our food order and then walks away. About 10 mintues after that she says "Hi...something happened and your order disappeared from the computer....you were having the steak sandwich?" and I said "Ummm.....no, I had the cheeseburger and the chicken burger" and then she said "Ohhh...yeah...that's right" and said that our order would be rushed and walked away. About 10 minutes after that, we got our food. The food was acutally pretty good and pretty reasonably priced, which makes it that much more upsetting that the service was so shitty. So , we are about 3/4 of the way through our meal and the waitress comes to the table with some mints and drops those and the bill on the table and says "I'll just leave this with you" and walks away. So she forgets to key in our order and has to come back and take it a second time and then, she drops off the damn bill and doesn't even ask if we want another drink, or if we wanted to order dessert, no, she couldn't even wait until we were finished eating the f&*king food!!!! NOTHING pisses me off more. I think that has to be about one of the rudest and most tacky things you can do. It sends me the signal that my business is not appreciated and that I am not worth her time. Regardless to say that ruined my first and now my only time at Ricky's All Day Grill in South Edmonton Common. I will be writing a strongly worded letter to the manager and to the Head Office of that place. Way to make an impression Ricky's! Way to go indeed.

This Place Sucks Balls (Or so it is my opinion that they do)

Oh The Anger....

I swear to GOD, if just one more person comes in and asks for a hotel room, I am going to flip out. Nothing irritates me more than someone who comes in, asks for a room, is denied and then asks "Are you sure your sold out?" or worse yet, says "Why? What's going on?"

Well a-hole, lets see....its the busiest weekend of the summer here in Edmonton, there are NO hotel rooms to be found anywhere and you decided it would be a smart idea to come into the city with no reservations and then act surprised when I haven't got a room for you. Then you get rude and indignant with me when I refuse to call every damn hotel in the yellow pages to find you a room because you were too damn stupid to think of it BEFORE you left the house. WTF?! who does that? and of course there's always the one person who thinks I'm full of crap...."Are you sure you don't have a room, because I'll even take a suite" If I tell you I don't have a room, I really don't have a room. I'm not just saying no because I don't like the cut of your jib. So there you have it, my short rant on people who just show up with no reservations and expect the world for $119.00 plus tax. Screw Flanders.

Its Funny Because Its Not Me...

I can also make light of the situation as no one was critically injured and because the idiot in question is at fault as well.

Do you remember that little kid from The Sixth Sense? the one who built his whole career by uttering those 4 words that are so frequently made fun of? Well it turns out that the cute little kid (who isn't so little or cute anymore) who could see dead people, almost became one the other night. It seems Haley Joel Osment lost control of his 1995 Saturn and flipped it. But was apparently OK while the cops were pulling him from the wreckage that was his Saturn. The dink wasn't wearing his seatbelt. So the fact that he wasn't wearing a seatbelt (which is STUPID) and that he wasn't critically injured clears the way for the following:

Now, this little kid was apparently on a tv show, in Forrest Gump and the Sixth Sense and numerous other movies until puberty kicked in and he's driving a 1995 Saturn?! WTF People?! this kid has more money than most of us will ever have, mind you that's only if his parents haven't robbed him blind, but all that fat cash, and that's the best car he can manage? honestly. Let this be a lesson to you kiddies who made it big...If you spend all your money on hookers and blow, you'll end up with a giant head like this kid, and you'll be stuck with a 1995 Saturn. Plus is he ever going to get a chick with a name like Haley? I think not. If I were him, I'd insist people call me Joel.

Life After "The Service"

So after that debacle with Wendall, I was discharged from the Service with a medal for bravery, right along side a friend I met in the hospital while I was recovering from my injuries during that fateful day. Not knowing what to do, at his suggestion, I accompanied him back home to Greenbow, Alabama. He lived there in a BIG white house with his Mama, as he called her. She didn't go to work, but her house was so big, that she rented some of the rooms out. Since I was a friend of her son, I didn't have to pay for mine. She had a big refrigerator packed with Coca-Cola and fed me the best home cooked meals every day I was there.

It was so hot during the summer that there wasn't much to do because it was too hot. We talked about how the heat made us think of being back in 'Nam. Then my eye started to twitch and I started to cry thinking about Wendall. I still couldn't believe that asshole punched me. Now my eye is going to twitch forever. To try to take my mind off it, my friend Forrest suggested a rousing game of Table Tennis or "Ping Pong" as they referred to it back in 'Nam. It seems that after Forrest's platoon found "Charlie", he was injured saving his fellow soldiers, which led to our meeting in the hospital. To pass the time, he picked up a Table Tennis paddle and had quite the knack for the game.

Now, the thing about Forrest is that he's a bit slow, if you catch my drift. So he's a bit sensitive about some things. So we were playing table tennis and I was getting my ass kicked quite sufficiently, when Mama came to tell us that lunch would be soon, so we should go and wash up. We would be dining on the patio that afternoon. So we agreed to finish our game and then come out for lunch. In the split second between the time that Mama left the room and I turned back to the table, Forrest had managed to hit the ball to my end of the table, since I wasn't looking, I missed it. In sheer frustration and the heat of the moment I shouted "Hey!! you can't do that!" and "Who does that?? Honestly? That's Retarded!" and Forrest apparently took great offence to the word "retarded" and proceeded to go as the kids call it Ape on my ass. He threw his paddle right through the window and started screaming "I'm not a smart man......But I can kick your ass bitch!" and with one swift move, he slapped me in the face and pushed me down to the ground. As he was clutching a vase to bash over my head, I said "DON'T!! I'll just leave." and as I did, he picked up a baseball bat and clubbed me on the back. "Heeeyyy!!! Cheap shot asshole!" I replied and then swiftly kicked him in the nuts. I gathered my stuff and apologized again to Forrest and especially to Mama, who was kind enough to offer to let me stay the night, but I said no, and I left. As I was walking out to the waiting taxi, all I could think of was the intense pain in my back...that dirty bastard.

So, now that I was banned for life from Greenbow, Alabama, I was left with no where to go and one hell of a backache. That dirty bastard. He will rue the day, oh yes, he will rue the day. Below is a picture of my friend Forrest and his table tennis paddle.

Cheers And Jeers....Round 2.

I know I am supposed to do my Cheers and Jeers on a weekly basis, but recent events have made this one too good to pass up. So, let's begin shall we?

First off the Jeers.....and I can't believe I am about to do this...but it must be done.

Jeers to Brad Pitt for letting himself go. It seems that hooking up with Angelina Jolie and focusing on helping needy people has left him with little concern for material things or vanity. He's starting to show gray in his hair (both facial and that on his head) and it also appears that he's stopped "freshening" up with the botox as he's looking a little bit more wrinkled and "worn" than in recent history. Oh Brad...its so sad how your mid life crisis has taken you from the top of my Hotness List to number 2. Its all the fault of that hussy.

And the Cheers...and I normally would NEVER in a million years Cheer this next person on, but just go with it.

Cheers to George W. Bush. Why you ask? because earlier this week at the G8 Summit, the President was speaking with Tony Blair and was unaware that his mic was on and it captured him using some less than eloquent speech. He referred to the current situation in Lebanon as "shit" and was then going on about how he prefers Diet Coke to the real thing, chewed with his mouth open and then cackled and used the word "nucular" repeatedly. I don't know about you guys, but it absolutely terrifies me that this man-boy (exterior of a man, mind of a boy) is the leader of the free world. But, because he's so stupid and because he swore in the presence of other world leaders and referred to a VERY tricky and volitile situation as "shit", I am going to say Cheers Georgie! Cheers for being the ignorant Southern Hick we've all come to make fun of over the last 6 years. What are we going to use as comedic fodder when this Douche Bag and the rest of his administration are gone from office in 2 years. Luckily the American policticians are all like this.

The Legend Of My Twitching Right Eye...

My eye is still twitching today. This happens every so often when I've been rubbing it due to my allergies. But, I really think its that tick I got back when I was in 'Nam. I remember it like it was yesterday...We were looking for Charlie, and all of a sudden, the ground started to shake...there was so much smoke everywhere. I fell to the ground and realized that my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Wendall, from Delaware, had just narrowly missed the explosion, but was still badly injured. I was in complete shock. The landscape around me was exploding into firey bits and my bestest friend Wendall was clinging to life in the dirt next to me. I'll never forget what happened next. Wendall, with his last dying words said to me "Tell my girlfriend I love her" and I said "No! I can't do that Wendall! I love you!" and he said to me "I don't love you. Your ugly." and with all the fury I could muster I said "And your a bastard and your mother's a filthy whore" and he reached up with his last ounce of strength and punched me in my right eye and said "You heinous Bitch! I can't believe I bllleeeaaaahhhhhhhh....." and that was followed by some unpleasent gurggling noises and my Wendall died. Ever since then, I've had that crazy twitch in my eye... and a few months after that, I was discharged from the service and well, you know the rest up to this point.

Happy Birthday From "The Hoff"

To my Best Good Friend T-Bone on his Birthday......

Best Wishes For A Very "Hoff" Birthday!!!

Here's To You Big Guy!!!

XOXOXO,

The Hoff

Best Movie Ever....Almost.

I was up SOOOOO late last night watching National Lampoons Vacation and then National Lampoons European Vacation (The better of the two in my opinion). I absolutely LOVE the part when they are on the airplane on the way over to England and they are all having their fantasies about what Europe will be like and then Clarke snaps out of it when the stewardess asks him and his wife if they want something to drink...she says no and he says "I'll have a Coke". The stewardess then asks him "Did you want that in the can?" and he looks around and then finally says "No, I think I'll have it right here". And that's the end of the scene. SO FUNNY. That's it.

"The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Griswalds"

Out With The Old......

When I say this is big...I mean this is big. You see for the last 12 years, I have had what some refer to as a raging case of "Hot Pants" for Brad Pitt. My hot pants for him have been unwavering.

It was smit instantly when I went to see Legends Of The Fall at age 14. I stuck with him through the good movies, like Seven, Fight Club, and Oceans Eleven. I even stuck with him through the bad movies, like Meet Joe Black, The Mexican and even Oceans Twelve (Catherine Zeta-Jones really f'd that movie up). But lately, I find my Brad slipping ever closer to Tom Cruise territory. First with the mid-life crisis and the leaving his wife, then the "we aren't dating but you all know we are" thing and the world travelling and the having of the baby with someone who wasn't me. So, as it seems that my Brad has finally let go of me and moved on with Angelina Jolie, I am officially bumping Brad Pitt to Number 2 on my Official List Of Hotness, and I am bumping Adrian Grenier to Number 1. The rest of the List is as follows:

1. Adrian Grenier
2. Brad Pitt
3. Jake Gyllenhaal
4. Johnny Depp
5. Matthew McConaughey

The Official List Of Hotness basically excuses each of the people on the list from ridicule based on crappy film or TV choices. For the last 12 years, Brad Pitt has held onto Number 1. *Sigh* Moving on sucks. Oh well, Number 2 is still pretty respectable.

A New Feature!!!

I have decided to add my weekly Cheers and Jeers column to this blog. So, let's quit with the chit chat and get right to the meat of this post. We all know that's why your here.

First, my Cheers...

Cheers Movie Central! its the new movie channel that got added to my cable service. Its movies 24 hours a day, unedited and uninterrupted. Who wouldn't love that? and its not the same crap that they keep playing over and over and over again on TBS.

Now the Jeers.

Jeers to my Hotmail. I don't have my company email address set up at work yet, so I've had to use my Hotmail to send messages. Only it doesn't send them. I end up waiting hours and as I found out today...sometimes DAYS before the intended recipient of my message receives it. WTF is up with that? I know its a free service....but COME ON PEOPLE!! so yeah...Hotmail mostly sucks. Jeers indeed.

Happy Birthday 7-11!

Any store that gives out FREE SLURPEES is OK in my books. Yes, today marks 7-11's 79th year in business and to celebrate, they gave out 3 million FREE SLURPEES. I snagged 2 today. Why? because they are just that damn good. I pulled some useless facts about the Slurpee (my bevy of choice), from www.slurpee.com and I will present them as follows (I may have changed some words):

1. 7-Eleven began introducing Slurpee collector cups in 1972. These cups have featured rock-n-roll stars, endangered species, fake bottoms, free prizes and peel-off game pieces and coins. I have never had anything with a peel- off game piece or a fake bottom or a free prize. I did however, just pay $3.20 for a Slurpee in a Superman cup that was kinda trippy. Worth it? Eh...maybe.

2. In 1998, Slurpee-a-holics could also taste their favorite Slurpee flavor all day long with the the new Slurpee Lip Balm. As if eating it weren't good enough, you could now wear all the syrupy goodness. Mmm...slurpilicious.

3. 7-Eleven created an uber cool spoon-straw so slurpers wouldn't miss the last drop of their Slurpee drinks. I personally find that the straw is particularily useless for the last 1/4 of the drink, and I am not one of those people who eats the slurpee on the end of the straw..cause that's stupid. So I think a normal straw would work just as well. Although I do like the vast array of bright happy colors that the straws come in.

4. Enough Slurpee drinks are sold each year to fill up 12 Olympic swimming pools. Can you imagine how many slurpees that is? That's crazy. Sadly, that's probably just from my purchases alone. *Sigh*.

5. Slurpee drinkers in Winnipeg, Manitoba consume more Slurpee beverages than anywhere else on Earth. See? us Canadians are a hearty buncha bastards that like our winters cold..and our Slurpees even colder.

So I guess in a round about way I'm trying to say Happy Birthday 7-11! Thanks for giving us the best frozen drink on earth...and those delightful Chicken Taquitos. Keep up the good work...Top Drawer...Top Drawer indeed.

Let's Hug It Out Bitch....

For the past few days, I've been heading out to my local video store and I have rented the first and second seasons of Entourage on DVD. I have to say that I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHOW, and now that I am all caught up on everything from day 1, I have nothing left to watch until they put the 3rd season out on DVD...all because I am a poor dirtbag who can't afford good cable. But now that the 3rd season is currently airing, I may have to look into it.

I Got Some New CD's For My Birthday...

I got 3 to be exact...I got the Arctic Monkeys (which is good), the Trews (also good) but perhaps the best and most surprising is The Raconteurs. I had only heard the first single and nothing else and usually, in those situations, the rest of the disc is crap...but I FREAKING LOVE THIS CD!!! its one of those ones that I will have in the old CD player for about a month or so and I'll listen to nothing else. Almost every song on it is good. The band sounds like a more intricate/peppier version of the White Stripes..which makes sense since Jack White is in the band. So Cheers for The Raconteurs! and Jeers to people at work calling in sick for no good reason. You should also visit the website for the band...cause its one of the best band sites I've been to. Nay, its one of the best websites I've been to...its www.theraconteurs.com

We're Having A Heatwave....

Not necessarily a tropical heatwave, but it is a heatwave none the less. For the last week and a bit it has been very very very hot. Stuffy and hot. Impossible to sleep hot. But apparently its going to cool off later this week. Heatwaves rule...not the Heatwave below though.

Happiness Is....

Well, I guess it depends on who you ask, but for me, Happiness is a Beverly Hills 90210 Marathon. Much like the one thats on TVTropolis today. Could this be the best day ever? First, I get to go home early from work because its kind of a holiday and everyone thinks we are closed. Then, I get home and discover that its an all day Beverly Hills 90210 Marathon. I swear I almost peed my pants and I've been parked in front of the TV for the last 4 hours watching the best show of my teen years. I still have my Luke Perry pillowcase, and my Jason Priestly t-shirt and my 90210 dolls, books, boardgame, puzzles, and the whole lot. Now, all they have to do is bring back Melrose Place and I'm set.

I Am An Old Lady...

Its so damn sad. I'm turning 26 years old on Wednesday and I am sadly going at the pace of a 60 year old. I must have at least 8 hours of sleep per night. I nap frequently durning the day whenever possible. I enjoy card games. I always wear comfy shoes with proper support. I have a sore back. I now think midnight is late. What ever happened to the fun me? *le sigh* I'm old. The illustration below pretty much sums me up...except maybe take away the robe and replace it with a band t-shirt.

I Went To See The Devil Wears Prada Last Night...

And while it was a good movie, I was more than a little miffed at how much it actually differed from the book. I absolutely cannot stand it when you read a great book, and completely love it and then you find out that they are making the movie and then you get all psyched to see the movie and when you do, your almost pissed off. Well that's what happened to me last night. Although I do have to say there were three things that saved it and they are as follows.....

1. Meryl Streep... she was perfect as the bitchy boss from hell. She could have over-played the part and gone uber heavy on the bitchiness, but played it nicely subtle. Yay Meryl!

2. OMG!!! THE FREAKING CLOTHES IN THIS MOVIE WERE AMAZING!!!!! I'm sure I was drooling all over myself. All that Chanel, all that Prada, all the Versace and all the amazing accesories.....and the shoes and boots and ugh!...I'm such a girl! I wish I was thinnish again and actually had some money so I could get those amazing Chanel boots that Anne Hathaway wore. *Le Sigh*

3. Two words people: Adrian Grenier. Absolutely freaking hot. He plays her boyfriend in the movie and he is hot. I have this kind of a "guilty pleasure movie" if you will, and some of you may be familiar with. Its called Drive Me Crazy and its got Melissa Joan Hart and Adrian Grenier, and its about this popular chick whose basketball player boyfriend dumps her right before the big dance, so she takes her slightly nerdy, but hot former best friend/next door neighbor boy and gives him some new clothes from the Gap and poof..he's hot and then they get together. It really is a good movie and screw you for making fun of me for loving it, but I do. But anyways, I've had wicked hot pants for him since I saw that movie and I didn't know he was in The Devil Wears Prada, so that automatically gave the movie points. So yeah. Its good...and you should see it. Even if its just for my "boyfriend".