PurpleMonkey Celebrity Corner

Its our first ever edition of the PurpleMonkey Celebrity Corner...and boy oh boy do we have a lot to cover! To hold on to your shorts kiddies....its gonna be an uber crazy ride.

The first ever celeb to me mocked is.....Lindsay Blowhan...oops, I mean Lohan. Seems Lindsay has had some real serious health problems for the last year and a bit, in and out of the hospital suffering from asthma and exhaustion. Then, last week, the poor thing was sent to the hospital suffering from "Heat Exhaustion" and "Dehydration". Well, it seems that everyones favorite cracked out party skank has finally been called on her shitty and completely unreasonable behavior. In a very scathing letter, the CEO of the company thats financing her new (and probably shitty) movie called her frequent tardiness and abscences "Discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional" and that "We are well aware that your ongoing all night heavy partying is the real reason for your so-called "exhaustion", we refuse to accept bogus excuses for your behaviour" then went on to say that "You have acted like a spoiled child and in doing so, have alienated many of your co-workers and have endangered the quality of this picture" and then, as if that weren't enough, he goes on to state that her actions "have resulted in hundreds of thousands of dollars in damages" and that "If you do not honor your production committments, including your scheduled call time for tomorrow and any call times thereafter, we will hold you personally accountable". Wow....so let me get this straight, for some reason, this lucky cracked out skank has a career that enables her to make shitty movies that no one wants to see and to make shitty music that no one wants to listen to, and despite the above mentioned dodgy behaviour, people still hire her to make the aforementioned shitty movies. Please Mr. Hollywood Casting Man, please cast someone who has actual talent in your future projects. This skitty chick has probably consumed more blow than all of Columbia has in its vast Cocoa Plant fields, and drank enough alcohol to keep the folks at Grey Goose afloat for many many years, and as a result, she looks like a catchers mit.....way beyond someone who is only 20 years old, not to mention she's been passed around that town like the village bicycle. And what is up with her mother? she has to live out her failed dreams of stardom through her kid? that's f'd up people. So hopefully, this is now the 14th minute of Lindsay's 15 minutes of fame. Let's hope so people...let's hope so.

****UPDATE****
Since writing this tasty tidbit last night, word has just come that the British have some good sense. It seems they don't want to listen to her shitty music either. Her record label in the UK has just dropped her because she is too much of a demanding bitch to get off her cracked out ass and promote her shitty album. I always knew the British were a smart bunch. So this, the letter mentioned above, and the fact that probably no one will go and see her next shitty movie means that she has about 6 more months of a career left unless she can seriously get her issues in order...but look who we're talking about here. 14:56.....tick tick tick tick tick.