This Is Why I Think All Teenagers Are Dumb Bastards...

Today is the day that I officially gave up on the entire youth population. I have rendered them ALL officially useless. How, you ask, can I write off an entire generation of hopeful young people who have never directly done anything to me???? well, let me tell you how.

Today, started off like any other day. I got up, smoked a bowl, and watched the Cold Case Files on A&E. I had my Corn Flakes, and then decided to go pick up the package I had waiting at the post office since I had a car at my disposal today. Since the postal outlet is in a 7-11, I decided to get myself a quality Slurpee, and I grabbed a few other various sundry items and waited patiently in line. The line-up was about 5 people deep. There's some old lady, my sister, some fat guy, 2 obnoxious teenage girls, and me. Since the guy at the till is working at the excruciatingly slow pace of a snail, the 2 half-wits in front of me start perusing the tabloid headlines and come across something about Oprah. People who know me, know I love Oprah, and I think even though she's super preachy at times, she does good things for people. BUT, I also don't get upset when people voice their opinions to the contrary. Anyways, I'm standing there listening to Dumb and Dumber read the headlines and make their "Witty Observations" and then the fat one comes to the headline about Oprah and then says in complete seriousness "OMG..I hate Oprah so much. She says she's trying to change the world and stuff, but no one cares and she should quit because she's not pretty" WHAT THE FUCK??? did I just hear that? for reals? she should stop trying to help people and make a difference and people don't care because SHE'S NOT PRETTY?????!!!!!!

I'm pretty sure I had to pick my jaw up off the floor after I heard that. I was dumbfounded!! how could anyone be so fucking retarded that they would utter such a sentence in public? After the initial shock wore off and I listened to this vapid moron continue on about how shallow she is and how cool it is that she's shallow, my hulk like rage began to build. SHE was one to talk about not being pretty. She was wearing a denim skirt that was WAY too tight, and her leggings looked like sausage casings for her fat sausage legs. I swear to GOD, I really don't think I've ever wanted to punch anyone in the mouth more than I did that stupid fat turd at that moment. The only thing I can really say is that its quite obvious that the only thing this chick will EVER contribute to society are fat stupid babies that will grow up to be fat, stupid adults that make more fat, stupid babies. Congratulations Stupid Fat Girl at the 7-11!! you'll leave quite the legacy. You have absolutely nothing useful to offer society. Your parents must be SO proud. Their complete lack of interest in you has obviously paid off big time. Attached, is an artists rendering (not mine) of what I think the stupid fat girl at the 7-11 will look like when she becomes a stupid fat adult.

Redemption!!!!

I knew something felt wrong about me having to scribble Marky Mark off my Hot List. As I posted last, pissy pants was apparently super pissed off by Andy Samberg's impression of him on SNL last week. Fast forward to this week, and Marky Mark was on SNL last night "confronting" Andy Samberg about the aforementioned impression. The results: HILARIOUS!! and that means I can totally pencil Marky Mark back into his position on my list. Thank Jebus! that made for an odd couple of days.

This IS Funny...Regardless of What Marky Mark Wants You To Think.

So, a couple of weeks ago, I was watching SNL, and one of the last sketches of the night was Mark Wahlberg talking to animals. It was actually Andy Samberg as Mark Wahlberg, and I'm pretty sure they just had some extra time towards the end of the show and figured that would be a good way to fill it.. Turns out Marky Mark is seriously super pissed about this sketch. I personally find it HILARIOUS, and now that I know he hates it and has NO sense of humor, I think I like it even more. For spite. Hence, I've posted it here so everyone can watch it OVER and OVER again, and laugh AT Marky Mark. Not with him. AT him. I'd laugh WITH him if he had a sense of humor about himself, but he doesn't. Marky Mark has just slipped on my Hot List. He is now officially on the "Whiny Bitch" list....next to Tobey Maguire as Spiderman.

Sweet Jesus!

So I'm just going about my daily routine and reading all my gossip blogs, and in doing so I come across this:



Believe it or not, this is Christina Aguilera. I know. I was shocked too. She seriously looks like the offspring of a circus clown and Donatella Versace. Don't believe me? see below...

Donatella......



Clown.......

Would You Vote For This??

Anyone who has spoken with me in the last 8 years, knows of my obsessive hatred for George W. Bush. I find him to be exceptionally inept, and I blame him for single handedly ruining pretty much the entire world. Naturally, my hatred extends to ALL Republicans...and thus, John McCain and Sarah Palin. As the election is fast approaching, and the last Presidential debate is now complete, Americans should be paying attention to the candidates now more than ever. Especially McCain. Having followed this election myself for the better part of the year, I've had the pleasure of watching Barack Obama beat out Hilary Clinton for the Democratic nomination, and even better, I've been able to watch John McCain essentially shoot himself in the foot. Time and time again. I'm telling you this shit is better than a soap opera. His campaign couldn't be more transparent..and I don't mean that in a good way. This is a man who seems to be growing more and more desperate every day he and his party slips in the polls. He and his moose killing running mate, seem to be grasping at straws.

This is a man who rather than face his first debate opted to "Suspend" his campaign to "focus on the economic crisis". Sure, major banks collapsing do pose a huge problem, BUT, shouldn't a good leader be able to multi-task? this is also the same party that in a HUGELY pathetic attempt to lure female democrats who were pissed off Hilary lost, brought in a GROSSLY in-experienced hick to run for VP. Stunningly, the Republicans actually managed to find someone with intelligence levels LOWER than those of Georgie Bush. I didn't think it was possible, but then I watched Sarah Palin speak. Wow. Would you want someone to be one heartbeat away from running the US who can't even name ONE newspaper or magazine that they lie about reading? I certainly would not. Also, McCain is just plain OLD. Dude maybe has 3 or 4 more years before ALL his marbles are gone. Just looking at him during the debates last night, one gets the sense that the lights are on, someone might be home, but they can't necessarily find the door. He looks confused at the best of times..I think the picture above pretty much solidifies that.

Since I'm On The Subject Of Kool Aid...

After posting that picture from before, I was reminded of this little gem from The Office. SO funny.

That Dude Is Out Of Control

For serious...the Kool-Aid Man is out to bust some shit up. I have no idea where this place is, but clearly, he has struck again, and judging by the posters, he's hardcore. OH YEAH!!!